Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Sentimental Thoughts

Living with four other girls kills my productivity.

I'm trying to read a book for Loyola in the morning, when I end up on Fabi's floor talking about God and boys and life and hope.

After work, I come home, intending to take a nap and run into Laura, who I haven't seen for weeks, and chat with her about my kids, cupcakes and St. Louis.

As I walk back to my room to grab my computer to get some graduate research done, I see Sarah reading in her room and plop on the stool near the foot of her bed, inquiring about her day, realizing that I am completely distracting her.

I climb into bed at night, absolutely exhausted, only to see Talia for the first time all day and catch up with her about church and weddings and soccer.

And then have a pillow fight, for no apparent reason, at midnight, making sure to pull Fabi in from the hallway, giggling the whole time, absolutely loving that we are probably too old for pillow fights but that this is a necessary part of being 23.

And I would trade none of it. I keep thinking about how things will change come September, when I move into a smaller place with just one roommate. In some respects, I love it. The kitchen might actually stay clean. I might actually be able to put food in the freezer. When I come home, I may actually be able to rest.

Yet, I'll come home and it will often be quiet. I'll come home and the place will be mine and not ours. There will be no midnight pillow fights. There will be no giddy talks about engagement. No discussion of what comes next, because we'll all be at our next step, separately. Fabi will be moving off the blue line, serving God in marvelous ways, as the Lord has been calling her over the past few months. Talia will be a few blocks away, living life as a wife (and probably having pillow fights without me). Laura will be back in St. Louis, moving into her next stage of life. We're all moving on.

And its hard. I've only lived here for 60 days, and I already feel like its home. I know this is where I am supposed to be, and I know that it has to change. Change is hardest when I know its right because I can't dwell on the way its supposed to be. Right now, I see God in the lives of my roommates. I know that when I ask about their lives, about what's on the horizon, their answers glisten of service to the Lord. I know that as I listen to what's next, my roommates are being pulled farther from me, yet that is exactly where they are supposed to go. I know that my next stage and theirs are beautifully designed, and yet, I want to stay in this post-graduation bliss forever.

So, to my roommates: You have been a hope and an encouragement to me. You have challenged me and grown me. You have shaped who I am and I am immensely grateful for it. I wouldn't trade this summer for any other. Thanks for being Christ to me.

I'll miss you.

Romans 1:8-12

1 comment:

  1. i heart you so much, thank you for always being YOU & a constant in my life :)

    ReplyDelete