I blogged this today on the Loyola Living For Christ website, and I thought it spoke so clearly to what I'm learning right now, that I should share it on my home blog.
If you've spent much time around me, you've probably heard me say this already. Our prayer lives must be filled with honesty and truth — even when those two things are not the same thing.
Psalm 13 is the ultimate example of David doing just that.
1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?
How long will you hide your face from me?
2 How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
and every day have sorrow in my heart?
How long will my enemy triumph over me?
3 Look on me and answer, O Lord my God.
Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death;
4 my enemy will say, "I have overcome him,"
and my foes will rejoice when I fall.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love,
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
David asks God if he will forget him forever. He asks God how long he will hide his face. At first, David seems to be saying something untrue. God doesn't forget people and he certainly didn't forget David who would be the great grandfather of Christ himself! God wasn't hiding. God doesn't do that! But David is being honest here. He's saying what he's feeling, what life seems like, and is bearing his soul before his Savior. God already knows what he's thinking and feeling; he might as well be honest before God and come to him without any pretenses.
In verse 2, David stands raw before the Lord, asking him the questions he most earnestly wants answered. David is not afraid to say to God exactly what is on his mind. In what is clearly a dark hour for David, he comes before the throne of God and asks for answers unabashedly.
He then, in verse 3, demands God's attention. It's almost funny. Here David is telling God that God has been hiding, that God has forgotten about him and then he demands God's presence as if he has a right to the counsel of the Almighty! He threatens God with his own mortality, noting that if God doesn't do something soon, David will not be there any more.
Sometimes, I read this psalm to God and declare it as my own. Stop ignoring me God! Answer me! Be here now! My life is falling apart and if you don't do something about it soon, I'll die! Granted, David likely wrote this psalm when he was being hunted by Saul and his life was truly in danger and I'm just struggling to get everything done on time, but nonetheless, there are days in which I identify with David (even if I am being melodramatic).
What's beautiful about this, though, is that God hears. God listens. God responds. God is not angry at our impatience. He is not turned off by our demands. He loves us and listens to us and cares for us. He is not far from us. Our honesty does not surprise God. It does not hurt his feelings. Our honesty, our kicking and screaming and temper tantrums are a part of being in intimate relationship with God. Like a toddler with his mother, our fits never push God away. We should grow out of them at some point, but God loves us through our yelling and our unreasonable perspectives.
If David stopped at verse 4, this psalm would be hard to read. Up to this point, David seems to be talking to a distant, uncaring God. He seems to be picking a fight with someone who has already left the room. Psalm 13 is powerful because once David stops stomping his feet, he reflects on the truth. He looks at what he knows to be a true of God, not just what he is feeling in the moment.
God is trustworthy. His love is unfailing. God is Savior. He is good to us.
Try reading verses 5 & 6 on a day when the world seems to be going wrong. Its hard. It is hard to say to God the truth when we don't feel like believing it, when we doubt that its true consistently.
See, if all we give God is honesty and we neglect the truth, we fall into despair. We doubt who God is. We doubt his goodness. We question his power. But when we, like David, remember the works of the Lord, when we look at how God has delivered us in the past, we have no choice but to rejoice. David's praise is not based on what he expects God to do, but on his past works. He has hope because God has proven himself.
God wants you to be real in front of him. There is no need to put on your Christian smile and say that everything is going well in front of a God who knows your innermost thoughts. But, despite what we might be feeling, we have to know who God is. God is good. He is our Savior. He has worked in the past for our sakes. He has provided. He is Lord. At the end of the day, no matter if our best friend's dad is trying to kill us (like David's was) or if we just failed our organic chemistry final, God is faithful and good and worthy of praise.
5 But I trust in your unfailing love,
my heart rejoices in your salvation.
6 I will sing to the Lord,
for he has been good to me.
May these words always be on our lips.
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