Ashes

It is prove of my exhaustion when I blog while under the weight of classes and life. Words are my refuge — they are what I cling to for my salvation when the only place I want to be is hiding under my desk in the dark, hoping no one will notice me.

Its been one of those weeks. I long for Friday, for 2 weeks off, and yet fear it. I will have fun. I will be freed of deadlines, but I will still carry these burdens with me. I will be exhausted and I will feel guilty for my exhaustion.

Today is Ash Wednesday — a day of repentance and fasting. Two things I have not done, and don't really plan on doing. Tonight, I go to church and have the ashes from the burning of last year's palm branches placed on my forehead while I chant "Lord, have mercy on us." Tonight, I fall before the feet of Jesus and begin the journey to the Cross of placing my sins and my burdens before him, knowing that he has already taken care of them.

I am grateful for today. I am grateful for liturgy which reminds me of the awesomeness of my God and the lowliness of me.

On the Reformed Church of America website, it has a wonderful outline of the Ash Wednesday liturgy. I want to share with you this prayer:

Gracious God, you created us out of the dust of the earth and breathed into us the breath of life. By your hand we live and to your hands we return when all our days are done. Grant that the awareness of our mortality may lead us not to fear, but to faith. In our weakness teach us to look to you for strength, in our failures to turn to you and find forgiveness, and in our dying to await the gift of everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Lord.

May this prayer be on my lips and these words taken to heart so that I may seek and find my Savior in my times of utter helplessness and my moments of great personal victory. To Him be the glory and the honor and the power for ever and ever.