Learning Biblical Submission

I don't like the word 'submision'. It's a dirty word in my book, up there with 'feminism' 'chauvinism' and 'the White Sox.'
I was raised to believe that there were an evil group of pretend Christians who told women they needed to submit to their husbands, and live passive lives. I was told they called themselves "Calvinists."
In case you didn't know, I grew up Wesleyan. That's right all of you Moody-ites, I grew up believing that salvation is a free gift given to everyone, that you can lose your salvation and that men and women are complete equals.
And then I came to Moody. Some would say I found truth. Others would say I went to the dark side. Either way, as anyone could tell you, I would never be a quiet and meek wife.
I am loud. I am opinionated. I am well-educated and plan on becoming better educated. I do not back down easily, I make my own decisions and above all, I stand up for myself. I am the archetype for the independent woman.
Therefore, something seems terribly amiss. Either my theology is wrong or I am terribly in sin.
Yet, God has been teaching me something about humility and submissiveness, and I'm learning that both are good things at which I am not very good. As defined by the wonderful Pamela MacRae (or more aptly, as quoted by the wonderful MacRae), submission is "the opposite of self-assertion. It is the desire to get along with one another, being satisfied with less than one's due, a sweet reasonableness of attitude." Or as Danica put it, a peacemaker.
Being submissive is not about obeying someone else. It is not about giving up your hopes and dreams for someone else's. Submission is about humility. It means honoring others as better than yourself. It means striving for peace in all circumstances. It means being reasonable. In other words, it's the Christian duty.
I am not submissive. I am often selfish, unwilling to compromise. I value myself highly, and frequently place my own needs above the needs of others. I have a sin issue with pride that I'm working on through the strength of God.
On Thursday, I sat in my Greek class with a sheet of sentences moderately well translated. I sat in the second row (my usual spot) listening to my professor walk us through the translations. We came to sentence 4, with only a few minutes left in class. He gave us the translation, and I instantaneously caught a seeming error. I had to confront this error, so, without raising my hand, I burst out the appropriate translation, only to be told I was wrong.
For the next 3 minutes, I restated my case, explaining why I was right and the professor was wrong. He dismissed class, and I continued, this time pulling a few students to side with me. The issue was no longer understanding Greek. This battle was now about who was right, and I was determined it had to be me.
I was wrong. The second I began acting in arrogance was the moment I stepped outside the desires of God. God calls me to be in submission to others. Not just my husband, but the Christian community. He calls me to respect my elders and learn quietly.  I am called to do this not because I'm not worthy of talking, but because in quietness is how we learn.
I decided on Friday that I needed to apologize to my professor. I did not send the e-mail until today. Its funny how hard it is to be humble. I was amazed at how hard those three sentences were to type, how hard it was for me to say "I'm sorry" and "I was wrong."  I have a long way to go on this road to godliness. Yet, I am grateful that God does not rate me on my performance, but loves me in Christ, who has already paid the price for each and every sin I commit, day by day.
For his glory and honor, I will keep limping along, knowing that he has given me strength